We'll Miss You Papa!

My sweet Papa passed away today. He will be missed so much. Words can't express my feelings right now. Papa fought hard and long these past seven years after he had a stroke in 2002. He was a wonderful man and the best grandpa.

I have so many happy memories of him that I will hold on to and I am grateful for that. As I have looked around this week as we have all said our goodbyes to him, I saw the love and support of my family members and how we are pulling together at this difficult time.

Even though it's hard to lose him, I know Papa is no longer in pain and he can finally be happy and at peace. More than that, I am comforted in knowing that I will see him and be with him again one day. That alone helps us get past the empty feeling my family has, now that he is gone. I thank my Heavenly Father for blessing me and letting me share my life with Papa.

Papa,
I remember when I was dating Nate. You had been in the hospital and we came to visit you. The minute we got there, you looked up at me and Nate and said, "So, you gonna ask my grand-daughter to marry you or what? Give me a tin can and I will make her a metal ring right here so you can ask her." I think that almost drove Nate away! :) You could always makes me laugh and that is one thing I loved most about you. Remember the time you set me up with a neighborhood boy? Just to get a rise out of me, when this boy asked you what I looked like, you told him I was bow-legged and spoke with a lisp! Thank goodness he knew about your sense of humor already or he might have stood me up.

Thank you Papa for teaching me everything you knew about gardening and how to make flowers, vegetables and fruits thrive. Thank you for all the bushels of grapes you gave me last year from your vines. It made some of the sweetest grape juice. Thank you for showing me how to properly trim roses so they look their best. It was an adventure living next to you for those three years and I will always remember that time. I remember you standing outside your driveway at 6:00 in the morning when I would be leaving for work. You told me that you just wanted to make sure I got off safe. But then you'd tell me that you were actually waiting for Richard because he was taking you fishing. :) A couple of times you were sitting on your front porch and I'd be walking out to my car when it was still dark and suddenly you'd start talking and it always made me jump almost six feet in the air because you scared me so bad.

From what I am told, I was quite the grumpy toddler and one time for some reason, I got mad at you when I was four and everyone tells me that I came and kicked you in the shin and called you an SOB. So, I apologize for that. I don't remember it, but apparently I did it. I guess I was rather feisty. But hey...it does add personality to me, right? :) I also remember me and Amber begging to dress you up like a girl. You finally gave in and let us put curlers in your hair and I think we may have put a little make-up on as well. Thanks for being so tolerant of us. :)

Thank you for the many week-long summer sleepovers my sisters and I used to have with you and Nan. And yes, I am even thanking you for making us "have fun" by pulling weeds from your dirt driveway. :) Thank you for our Annual West Fork camping trips. I hope to continue that tradition with my girls. Thank you for all the fun family parties we had at your house. Playing "no bears are out tonight, Daddy shot them all last night" with my cousins in your backyard when it got dark was one of my favorite things to do. And I can't forget the times we played softball in your field.

While living next to you I had my first baby. I remember the day I brought Hannah home. I was rather emotional being a first time Mom and all. I started to cry for some reason. You told me to come over to you. You put your arm around me, looked down at my brand new baby and told me that everything would be all right. You told me that I would be a great mom and that I could bring Hannah over to your house everyday and just be with you. I remember you had tears in your eyes as you told me you loved me and was proud of who I had become.

I'm grateful for the time I was able to spend with you this week. For being able to sit by your side. The day before you passed, you were holding my hand and I was talking to you about my memories of you and Nan. I went to get up and you tightened your grip on my hand. You opened your eyes just a little bit and said "hold on, hold on." So, I kept holding onto your hand for a while. Then the sweetest thing happened. Nan wanted to lay down beside you, so we propped her right up next to you. Before we knew it, she was fast asleep with her arms embraced in yours. You two laid there peacefully asleep for 3 hours. When she woke up, she told us that she hadn't slept that well for quite some time. She needed that and so did you. What a sweet couple you two were. I was watching my wedding video the other day and came to the part where you and Nan were hand in hand and cheek to cheek, gliding across the dance floor. You two could always light up a room and put a smile on my face when you danced. You guys sure knew how.

Thank you for all the memories that you gave me. I love you Papa and I already miss you so much. The tears have been hard to fight back today because you were such a big part of my life. But the sad tears are mixed in with happy tears because I know I will be with you again. I know you will be watching over us and that is a comfort to me. Even though my girls are still very young, you had an impact on them. Hannah has cried for you already and told me that she will miss you. But that little girl has so much strength and smiled knowing that you were happy and that she would see you again. I think she inherited her strength from you Papa. She loves you so much. Thank you for all that you taught me and for the love that you gave me. xoxo

The picture above is Papa with his only son, my Uncle Scott. It was taken in May when Scott took him to go see some horses. Papa loved it and told us that he was going to enjoy what time he had left on this earth and what better way to spend it than to go four-wheeling. :)